Online Trading Type (Victim-Blamer)

December 29, 2009

Of the various trading styles, this type is the most immature emotionally and psychologically. The gambler type always appears happier being alive than does the victim-blamer.

Victim-blamers interpret anything in life that does not go their way as aimed against them, believing somebody or something is working against their welfare. It may be another person, like a boss or girlfriend, or an entity, like a company or the government. It may even be outside forces, such as “bad luck,” “nature,” an “evil force,” or even their conception of God.

The victim-blamers need to find someone outside themselves to blame for things not working out or misfortune that is beyond their control. They have never learned to assume personal responsibility for their own actions rather than to blame others.

Taking the role of the victim allows them to feel sorry for themselves and have a ready-made excuse for things not going the way they think they should. It also means not having to change their own behavior¡ªnothing is ever admitted to being their fault, so nothing needs changing.

This type feels they have been cheated of their rightful place in life. They adopt what is known as a “poor me” stance to the world. They think they deserve attention, approval, admiration, and status. But they don’t get it. And rather than try and understand why, it is much easier for them to see the cold, cruel world as denying them what they think they deserve.

Often, they have, in fact, had a hard life. Either little opportunity, poor education, a physical or mental disability, childhood deaths in the family, or deep love disappointment may be part of the personal history. Unlike other, more psychologically hardy and resilient people, they never seem to recover from early trauma or disappointments. For example, some of the Vietnam vets of my generation became victims and could never overcome their traumatic war experiences.

Because they are carrying a grudge, the victim-blamer often appears to others to have a “chip” on his or her shoulder. They are easily irritated or annoyed with others and quick to express it. Because of this, they often have trouble working cooperatively with others.

Some victim-blamers are chronically angry and depressed. Finding it so difficult to form trusting relationships, they may be rather isolated in their lives. When they turn their anger toward themselves, they appear withdrawn and depressed. When they externalize and actively blame others, they appear angry and even rageful.

They tend to project onto others their own desire to exploit and victimize. This means that rather than admit their own interest in making other people objects of whom they can take advantage, they deny this and instead see others as having the very same motive toward them.

This is what it means to project one’s own motives onto another. When held in control, it may surface as suspicion and caution with others. When taken to an extreme, it results in paranoid thinking and delusions of persecution.